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03-09-2007 12:41 AMDiglett is offline Send an Email to Diglett Search for Posts by Diglett Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

So I'm posting this..mainly to get feedback. I suck at grammar correction and descripting things in fancier words, so I mainly like to get help on that. But yes, I do write from time to time. Most of it spontanous..keep in mind I don't have any real form of spellcheck or grammar correction via a fancy program, I do it all by hand and other stuff.

This'n is set in WWII around..1943 or so I believe.
----

Four rounds went off in the dark, the brass casings hit against the the soft grass and echoed into his ears. He could still hear them, their growling was low like a patient animal ready for their pray to make one final slip that would end his life once and for all, He didn't know what they were..Wolves? He doubted it, no wolf moved that fast. His eyes glanced over to the twitching body of one of his squad mates, his neck ripped open and pouring out massive streams of blood that attracted those..wolves like moths to a flame. His breaths had gotten more shallow in the past seconds, he'd be dead soon. Which made it even more dangerous for him to stay.

He slowly rose to his feet, his P38 in front of him in a iron grip. The rest of his squad stayed deathly still as the growling and snarling grew louder. Their hunger was making them impatient, the stench of blood and death filled the air as the man let out his last throes of life. They launched from the forest in all directions, powerful muscles haunched over in a humanoid frame that effortlessly ripped the flesh off one of his screaming squadmates, piling into the dying solider as fangs and claws ripped through flesh and broke bones with a sickening snap. He'd hope the darkness would give him the edge he needed as he turned heel and ran deeper into the forest. He didn't know how farther the french village was, but he would take his chances dying from exaustion before being eaten by those..things.

He heard it then, it was faint at first; like a humming bird beating its wings in the distance, but then it sounded indeed like a pack of wolves behind him. He didn't want to look back, he could hear their powerful legs and arms propelling them foward at amazing speeds, hungry snarls ejecting from every powerful breath they took. He was going to die, he could feel it deep inside his furiously beating heart. If he was going to die he'd die with a few of those freaks before his last breath took him. He stopped in mid run and swung himself around, meeting face to face with the hidious beasts that had tore his squad apart and feasted on their flesh. They were hunched over beasts with ridged spines that curled down into powerful legs and arms in thin but tight muscle, their fanged teeth and mouths had the taint of blood on them, their nostils widened with every charging breath they took toward their next meal. They almost looked..human.

His P38 recoiled back once, twice and a third time. The muzzle flash illuminating the forest, three rounds of 9x19mm Luger smacked into the ground as the beasts scattered and shifted their formations like a pack of wolves unphased by the gunfire of the only survivor. He cursed deeply underneath his breath as he ejected the empty mag in another sprint, shoving it into the handgrip as he backpedaled once more, letting off four more shots into the crowd and successfully hitting one in the wrist. The beast tumbled as his wrist went with a sickening smack and his bretheren simply leaped over the now worthless pack member towards the fleeing soldier.

He almost cried out for joy when the dim lights of the french village came into view, His legs burned with renewed vigor as he continued on and on. The dim lights growing closer and closer until he finally made it, shoving his shoulder into the first door. Yelping loudly in pain as the door didn't budge even one inch. He dropped on the steps with a exausted huff, his hand shakily holding the P38 towards the hunting beasts like his lifeline.

That is when he heard thunder and saw lightning. The sonic boom of bullets echoed behind his ears as red hot tracer rounds smacked into the dirt and sent the beasts sprawling back. Almost effortlessly they sliced through the beasts body and cracked their bones, some crumpling like a ragdoll as soon as the hail of bullets crashed into their obviously weak bodies. It was over in a few seconds with five of the creatures twitching and dead and the remaining two off into the forests again.

He looked over to the sound of footsteps to see a man in dark drab camo dropping the empty 50 round magazine from his Lanchester before inserting another. He was tall, built like a tree and probably took just as much punishment. But he knew the red beret look very well..and the copied MP28 gave him away almost instantly. He jokingly wished that he was back with the wolves and not with British SAS. It took no time for the SAS to point the Lanchester at the Waffen-SS solider, nudging his own gun down for example.

He sighed, dropping his P38 on the ground in front of him as the British man walked over slowly, putting his boot over the handgun then giving the german man a sharp smack with his Lanchester stock. Knocking him out on the cold cement floor.

"Bugger..this one is a german..." He grumbled as he shoved the P38 in one of his cargo pants pockets and lifted him over his shoulder. He had all the luck tonight, but this was the worst of it. He'd rather be on the front lines of battle than in some backwater town in Paris, but perhaps they had enough manpower with enough forceful words and friendly words. He had to laugh outloud at that one, the familair double rune was on this german's collar. Which ment he'd be anything but willing. Still, it was a much better prospect than finding another corpse ripped apart.

"Lets just see what we can do with you my new german friend..." He mused lightly, patting the unconcious man on the back.
----

I'm working on the second chapter in a slow pace..so I'd like to get some help on this one.

Also, Yeah. I went there. WWII Supernatual Silent Hill-Esque Stuff. I'm so edgy and fresh.
03-09-2007 7:11 AMD is offline Send an Email to D Search for Posts by D Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Very rarely do you see the Germans in this kinda stuff not dying or doing the chasing.

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"Final Fantasy 6 had an exceptional story
that made you think about some rather abstract concepts like:
Moogles."

03-09-2007 3:34 PMRussian Agent is offline Send an Email to Russian Agent Search for Posts by Russian Agent Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote:
WWII Supernatual Silent Hill-Esque Stuff.


That concept reminds me of this short story I read about this confederate unit who had someone who'd been raised in new orleans around voodoo, and throughout all the battles he'd use that to bring them incredible luck and all, then finally they're decimated by this union regiment whos impervious to it, and one of the survivors then finds out it's because the opposing regiment is based out of salem.

So yeah theres precedent for this I guess

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JE SUIS CHARLIE


These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion..

Quote by Nina Fortner (regarding faking one's death):
Been there done that. No one would believe it this time.

Quote by Alizarin:
holy fuck i am ready to burn it all down. all of it.

03-09-2007 3:59 PMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

lolsalem
03-09-2007 4:27 PMDiglett is offline Send an Email to Diglett Search for Posts by Diglett Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Hey, instead of witty banter how about somthing helpful? =P
03-10-2007 12:09 AMD is offline Send an Email to D Search for Posts by D Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

moar focus on the monsters.

__________________
"Final Fantasy 6 had an exceptional story
that made you think about some rather abstract concepts like:
Moogles."

03-10-2007 1:23 AMDiglett is offline Send an Email to Diglett Search for Posts by Diglett Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Well that'll obviously be a focus..cause you know..without them there wouldn't be a story.
04-07-2007 11:55 AMEdger is offline Send an Email to Edger Search for Posts by Edger Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

more

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Quote by Jack Crawford:
What the fuck? Ed looks less like a nerd than I do. What bullshit is that?

04-07-2007 11:59 AMDiglett is offline Send an Email to Diglett Search for Posts by Diglett Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Yeah yeah yeah, I write like a snail. I'll get around to it when I do.

..you people suck at C&C though, seriousky.
04-08-2007 8:04 AMRussian Agent is offline Send an Email to Russian Agent Search for Posts by Russian Agent Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote:
..you people suck at C&C though, seriousky.


Well yeah I haven't played red alert 2 in YEARS.

__________________
JE SUIS CHARLIE


These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion..

Quote by Nina Fortner (regarding faking one's death):
Been there done that. No one would believe it this time.

Quote by Alizarin:
holy fuck i am ready to burn it all down. all of it.

04-08-2007 9:42 AMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

TA is better
05-15-2007 5:43 PMnightfalltheif is offline Send an Email to nightfalltheif Search for Posts by nightfalltheif Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Haven't played either Xp
Heh I write too much--scratch that--USED to...then people started reading my stuff and they wanted more then more then more still so I told them to get a life they're just words lol my little baby words...*shakes off motherly instinct* pah!

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05-15-2007 6:02 PMD is offline Send an Email to D Search for Posts by D Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote:
Originally posted by X-sah
TA is better


DoW is superior.

__________________
"Final Fantasy 6 had an exceptional story
that made you think about some rather abstract concepts like:
Moogles."

05-15-2007 8:37 PMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I doubt it but maybe
05-15-2007 8:42 PMD is offline Send an Email to D Search for Posts by D Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.

__________________
"Final Fantasy 6 had an exceptional story
that made you think about some rather abstract concepts like:
Moogles."

05-15-2007 8:47 PMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Alas.
05-15-2007 8:53 PMSZO is offline Send an Email to SZO Homepage of SZO Search for Posts by SZO Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote:
Originally posted by X-sah
TA is better
05-15-2007 9:23 PMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

You played Total Annihilation?
05-16-2007 3:48 PMnightfalltheif is offline Send an Email to nightfalltheif Search for Posts by nightfalltheif Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I've heard some stuff

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05-16-2007 5:46 PMStruggler is offline Send an Email to Struggler Search for Posts by Struggler Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I've heard stuff too. About things.

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