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06-13-2008 2:30 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Hi, folks.

I'm not familiar with many of the users here, but I do see some I recognize. To those who know me: this message is for you.

My name is Robb, or Nova or Ninja Cow.

I've been thinking of what to say and how to apologize for the last two years, yet I've been too nervous to register. I know I was a huge jerk to many people. I regret this. I sincerely do.

I haven't come here to post on a regular basis. I couldn't if I wanted to -- too busy. I merely registered because many of you deserve an apology. So, I apologize for my past cruelty, terrible attitudes, and outright hate toward many of you.

I mistreated many of you. There's no fear when you're babbling behind a monitor, eh? One might say, "I could care less about your apology." That is fine. Yet I could not remain a coward forever and withhold an apology from you -- especially you, X.

I wish you all well,
R. Lawson


David Bowie is pretty cool and I think everyone likes at least some of his music.

I like Space Oddity among others, but I also find it kind of a sad song, whats your take on that?
06-14-2008 11:39 PMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Thank you for showing grace.

Quote by Mavveh:
Sounds like two years ago Nova had a "oh man, I was such an asshat, I should apologize" moment, and then spent two years dicking around going "oh man, I should apologize, but what should I say? oh man."


Pretty much, yeah. Funny thing is, I was able to make right with Nick (Strider) in late '06. I tried contacting Hypershell but still cannot reach him.

Quote by X-sah:
A REALLY huge jerk.


An understatement, indeed.

Quote by X-sah:
I wonder if he's changed a lot.


I have! I don't use profanity any longer. Laughing Out Loud

Remember the mean kid in Butterfly Effect? And remember how in one timeline he was really nice?

That's me now.

In essence, X -- and I am not shifting blame here -- I had been hooked on opiates since 1997. In 2004 I kicked the habit because of Sandi, God rest her soul, and then I pretty much went bonkers. Everything I did was of my own free will, of course. Please understand that I take full responsibility for my despicable actions.

I was a complacent, arrogant fool.

I went to seminary, obtained my Master's in Religious Studies, and preached my first sermon on April 27. (Don't worry, I'm not here to proselytize -- I earnestly came here to apologize to everyone.)

I appreciate your forgiveness, X. Everyone else's, too.

Robb (yeah, with two B's now). Wink
06-14-2008 11:46 PMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Edger:
I've given 2 "Sermons," and I don't have a degree, I'm just Mormon.


I think this counts as a win, for me.


I'd rather have two sermons under my belt than a degree.


Quote:
P.S. Rob: Everyone hates me still Smile



Laughing Out Loud Poor Ed.
06-14-2008 11:52 PMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Ahhh. My sermon was 53 minutes long. I was soooo nervous at first.

Most of the people I have known since childhood, though, so I relaxed within 15 minutes or so.
06-14-2008 11:59 PMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Edger:
Yeah, it's not so bad. I get up once a month to talk for 1-5 minutes.

We don't have clergy assigned to speak regularly. People in the church get asked to speak for 5-25 minutes (sometimes only days in advance.) So, pretty much everyone gives a talk at some point.

I quite like it, but wish I got to more.


That's pretty cool, actually. The church I attend has homegroup at one's house on Wednesdays and we do the same thing.

The infant church operated closer to the way you speak of, from house to house (although it's anyone's guess as to how long one spoke).
06-15-2008 12:05 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Edger:
Lay ministry ftw.



Also...

"Holy crap, I'm freaking talking to Nova. How the hell did this happen?"


I must admit, it's weird being referred to as Nova.

How did it happen? My conquering cowardice? Laughing Out Loud
06-15-2008 12:14 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Ī©mega:
I think I remember Nick mentioning an apology. To be honest, I didn't believe it, lol.


Had I been in anyone else's shoes who knew me I wouldn't have believed it, either!

This post has been edited; it was last edited by R. Lawson: 06-15-2008 12:14 AM.

06-15-2008 12:29 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Sharpshooter005:
Grace? You once bragged about conning the sick, the weak, the destitute.

Grace should be granted to an avowed, braggart sociopath why?


Grace is undeserved favor. I did not expect to be shown grace, yet I have. In fact, I did not think I would come back and reply, for I had it set in my mind that I would merely be mocked. That's fine, so long as I apologized.

Quote:
Sickening. What I've heard you've done should preclude you from ever standing in front of a congregation of any church. Scamming the elderly? THATS what they let pastors do? Whatever denomination you're involved with, you're doing a disservice to.


St. Paul did many, terrible things, too, but it did not disqualify him from service. King David murdered many by joining forces with the Philistines and going on raiding parties, yet he was still called "a man after God's own heart." I've learned from my mistakes. Oh, and I grew up.

Moreover, I'm not a pastor. Not yet, anyway. I'm non-denominational with Charismatic/Free Grace beliefs.

Quote:
Furthermore, I'd never even heard of you..many of us haven't. If you're truly sorry then fine. But make a thread, apologize for the terrible, terrible things you've supposedly done.

Gentlemen accept their transgressions and apologize.


Well, yeah. That's what I did. The thread's name was changed (by someone else) from "An apology" to the title it is now.

This post has been edited; it was last edited by R. Lawson: 06-15-2008 12:31 AM.

06-15-2008 12:40 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Edger:
Next thing is Blaze coming back, though.


And I'm not ready for that.

Ever.


I don't even know how to contact him. I would, perhaps via IM or e-mail, but I lack any such information.

I do wonder from time to time how he is doing -- if he's the same person.
06-15-2008 12:42 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Big Money:
is that you as your avatar

if so this makes the past all that more amusing, though i'm not really meaning this as to mock you (at least not on a concious level Laughing Out Loud )


Yes, it is. :D
06-15-2008 12:44 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by X-sah:
...I am so staying out of this thread.

I have never seen Sharp so vicious in the few years I've known him that's for sure though.


He has a good reason to be vicious.
06-15-2008 12:48 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Big Money:
Quote by R. Lawson:
Quote by Edger:
Lay ministry ftw.



Also...

"Holy crap, I'm freaking talking to Nova. How the hell did this happen?"


I must admit, it's weird being referred to as Nova.


how about dark zero what is your feelings on that name

ore utlima blues (i think that was it)


Laughing Out Loud Do I know you? I mean, wow, you knew of DZ. Who did I know you as in the past?
06-15-2008 12:52 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

If you're not Trev, then who are you? Wink
06-15-2008 12:55 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Big Money:
look up about 4 posts


Ah-ha.

Thank you.
06-15-2008 1:08 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Sharpshooter005:
You've been replied to in terms of what you've done.

Frankly I don't even believe half of what I've heard, but if it is true, it's nauseating and you should apologize.


Everything you have heard is likely true. I don't know what you have been told. Of course, I'm not merely speaking of what I said to Sandi, if that is what you are referring to, but of much, much more. I was a real pain, Sharpshooter.

Quote:
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."


Yeah. Christians in pagan households would not get along...

Quote:
"You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.' But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment"


That verse brought much conviction and always stuck in my head when I knew I should have apologized.

Quote:
Yeah I can play bible quotes too.


I'm not trying to play Bible quotes with you. One's past does not necessarily always disqualify him for service. Most people have a past.

Quote:
Threads name was changed by me. I want you to admit what you've done..or did you do it? Were you just lying? You could admit that too, I'd have no problem with either one.


I'm not quite clear on what you're talking about. Yes, I said some horrible things to Sandi, Nick, and X & Co.

Quote:
If you want back on here, thats fine..I'm not an admin, I can't and won't stop you. But admit, confess, tell what really happened, apologize, truly repent for it.


It's not that I "want" back on here. I came here to apologize, to make things right. I am willing to comply with your requests.

Quote:
Then everythings cool, we could even be pals if you do that (maybe, I don't know you), but we could at least coexist with no problems.


Okay. What would you like to know? I want to make things right.
06-15-2008 1:10 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Sharpshooter005:
I'm trying to end this, I'm being nicer than maybe I should be.

Just apologize, we can all go back to having fun and posting random crap and everything is okay. It's not that hard, it can all end. This can all end.

Just admit you were either lying or wrong.

Is he ignoring me? This doesn't seem like it's too much to ask. He made a fucking thread about it I'm just asking for a direct one.


I'm not ignoring you. What did I lie about?

I have apologized, Sharpshooter. Please let me know what you want me to do in more detail.
06-15-2008 1:35 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Sharpshooter005:
Yeah if we're gonna do this just call me Sharpy, thats how it goes here.


Okay, Sharpy.

Quote:
Not what I meant, redemption is fine, I just object to "WELL HAY I FOUND TEH LORD NOW EVERYTHINGS OKAY".


I came back to the Lord in 2005. This is not something that just happened overnight. It took me a long time to get over my bitterness and over my self.

Quote:
Sandi or whoever is dead, who is nick, X seems to have forgiven you. I mean..you've apparently bragged about things occuring in non-internet settings. Or so I've heard.


Nick (Strider) was Sandi's last boyfriend.

I'm still not clear on what you mean by "bragg[ing] about things occurring in non-Internet settings."

Quote:
Well thats a shame, cause we're fun people. I am only vaguely aware of what the problem was that caused you to return, but if the people you harmed forgive you I'll have no problem with you hanging out here.


Yes, I am aware you are fun people.

Quote:
What I said is what I'd like to know.

I've heard you've done terrible things both on and off the internet, is this true, if so then apologize and if you still want to hang out on here and x and all (it's not my forum after all) accept it. Then great, no problems.


Okay. So you want to know what I've done?

As I said, I was a huge jerk to most everyone. I said some very nasty, very terrible things about Sandi and her niece. I was a hypocrite. Pure hatred toward most folks. Majorly. I did not do anything off the Internet. Everything that was said was said online.

Would you mind telling me what I have done offline, Sharpy?
06-15-2008 1:41 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Mavveh:
Quote by Mavveh:

I mean, it's Nova, so it wouldn't take too much to mock, but yeah.


He never named his denomination, we could find something funny cause theres some joke about all of them.


Yes, I stated my denomination in a previous post. I am Non-denominational and have Free Grace theology/Dispensational/Charismatic beliefs.

This post has been edited; it was last edited by R. Lawson: 06-15-2008 1:42 AM.

06-15-2008 1:41 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Quote by Mavveh:
Quote by R. Lawson:
Yes, I am aware you are fun people.


+ for making me laugh, hahaha I love how bitter this sounds.


It was not intended to come off as bitter. I'm sorry if it did.
06-15-2008 1:51 AMR. Lawson is offline Send an Email to R. Lawson Search for Posts by R. Lawson Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I have learned that e-drama NEVER ceases, even in certain Christian circles/forums. Frown
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