What a Weird World We Live In
Register Calendar Members List Search Frequently Asked Questions Go to the Main Page

What a Weird World We Live In » The Jerkstore  » They're masterworks, all. You can't go wrong.  » SCOOP! FLASH! THIS JUST IN!» Hello Guest [Login|Register]
Last Post | First Unread PostRecommend on Facebook
Pages (428): [1] 2 3 next » ... last »Post New Thread Post Reply
Go to the bottom of this page SCOOP! FLASH! THIS JUST IN!
Post« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
07-21-2010 9:21 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I decided to make a thread dedicated to ripping news articles from websites and stuff. It was generally designed with humorous articles in mind, but post whatever you want.


Obese patients need larger, more costly supplies


Quote:
Millennium Research Group, a Canada-based medical analysis group, estimates that U.S. hospitals will spend more than $1.2 billion by the end of 2011, purchasing supplies to accommodate the obese patients.

“It’s definitely a growing market," says Tiffanie Demone, a senior analyst with MRG.


[insert rimshot macro here]
07-22-2010 5:36 AMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

...That's pretty horrifying actually, sheesh.
07-22-2010 2:29 PMEnclave Agent is offline Send an Email to Enclave Agent Search for Posts by Enclave Agent Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Whale attacks boat, the people on the boat now under investigation somehow

Remember the good old days where if a whale attacked you, you devoted your life to getting revenge on it.

__________________
JE SUIS CHARLIE


These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion..

Quote by Nina Fortner (regarding faking one's death):
Been there done that. No one would believe it this time.

Quote by Alizarin:
holy fuck i am ready to burn it all down. all of it.

07-22-2010 4:39 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Now you get brought up on whale harassment charges.



The whale had a fine ass. I THOUGHT IT'D ENJOY THE COMPLIMENT.
07-23-2010 4:39 AMStruggler is offline Send an Email to Struggler Search for Posts by Struggler Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

How do you harass a whale, fat jokes?

__________________
GUL DUKAT DID NOTHING WRONG.

Frank: Some cocks can't be unsucked.

07-23-2010 1:50 PMEnclave Agent is offline Send an Email to Enclave Agent Search for Posts by Enclave Agent Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Maybe there were pumpkins on the boat and thats why it attacked

__________________
JE SUIS CHARLIE


These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion..

Quote by Nina Fortner (regarding faking one's death):
Been there done that. No one would believe it this time.

Quote by Alizarin:
holy fuck i am ready to burn it all down. all of it.

07-23-2010 3:22 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Laughing Out Loud
07-23-2010 5:23 PMStruggler is offline Send an Email to Struggler Search for Posts by Struggler Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

...I lol'd hard

__________________
GUL DUKAT DID NOTHING WRONG.

Frank: Some cocks can't be unsucked.

07-23-2010 8:36 PMEdger is offline Send an Email to Edger Search for Posts by Edger Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I'm so lost.

__________________
Quote by Jack Crawford:
What the fuck? Ed looks less like a nerd than I do. What bullshit is that?

07-23-2010 9:40 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Article



Quote:
Thirty-one year-old [Horatio] Toure, of San Francisco, was riding his bicycle down a street in the South of Market neighborhood when he happened upon a young woman with a loose grip on her iPhone. He rode his bicycle up next to her, snatched the iPhone out of her hands (perhaps she was holding it loosely in order to retain full reception?), and rode away.

Unfortunately for Toure, the young woman happened to be Jordan Sturm, an assistant at Covia Labs of Mountain View — a company that designs communications technology. Sturm was, in fact, wandering the streets of San Francisco because she was demonstrating a new product called "Alert & Respond" — an app on the iPhone designed to track her GPS location in real time.


Quote:
...it took the police all of 10 minutes to pin down his exact location and arrest him.
07-24-2010 7:14 AMStruggler is offline Send an Email to Struggler Search for Posts by Struggler Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

cockszzzzzzzz, San Fran

__________________
GUL DUKAT DID NOTHING WRONG.

Frank: Some cocks can't be unsucked.

07-24-2010 8:50 AMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Good try, but alas, bad target.
07-24-2010 4:56 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Birds force no-name bands to call off shitty concert



Quote:
The group [Kings of Leon] was determined to play for St. Louis fans even though they had fair warning earlier about the pigeon problem. Opening bands The Postelles and The Stills came offstage complaining of getting riddled with large amounts of excrement, their publicist said.

[...]

"Jared (Followill) was hit several times during the first two songs," Mendelsohn said of the band's bassist. "On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn't deal any longer..."


Just get him a stick of Orbit gum and tell him to keep going.
07-25-2010 5:51 AMStruggler is offline Send an Email to Struggler Search for Posts by Struggler Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I declare those pigeons Awesome

__________________
GUL DUKAT DID NOTHING WRONG.

Frank: Some cocks can't be unsucked.

07-25-2010 5:00 PMEnclave Agent is offline Send an Email to Enclave Agent Search for Posts by Enclave Agent Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page



__________________
JE SUIS CHARLIE


These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion..

Quote by Nina Fortner (regarding faking one's death):
Been there done that. No one would believe it this time.

Quote by Alizarin:
holy fuck i am ready to burn it all down. all of it.

07-26-2010 9:45 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

FLU BIRD HORROR





(This is a real title of a real horror movie.)
07-26-2010 9:48 PMEnclave Agent is offline Send an Email to Enclave Agent Search for Posts by Enclave Agent Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

I think I remember seeing ads for that

__________________
JE SUIS CHARLIE


These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion..

Quote by Nina Fortner (regarding faking one's death):
Been there done that. No one would believe it this time.

Quote by Alizarin:
holy fuck i am ready to burn it all down. all of it.

07-30-2010 4:28 PMMoose is offline Search for Posts by Moose Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

Weiner enraged on House floor


Yes, that's the actual headline. Yes, that's all I need to post.
07-30-2010 5:22 PMStruggler is offline Send an Email to Struggler Search for Posts by Struggler Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

.....fucking lol, the imagery

__________________
GUL DUKAT DID NOTHING WRONG.

Frank: Some cocks can't be unsucked.

07-31-2010 7:57 AMAlabastard is offline Send an Email to Alabastard Search for Posts by Alabastard Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post       Go to the top of this page

That's honestly terrible, though.
Pages (428): [1] 2 3 next » ... last »« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Jump to:
Post New Thread Post Reply
What a Weird World We Live In » The Jerkstore  » They're masterworks, all. You can't go wrong.  » SCOOP! FLASH! THIS JUST IN!